Realities of life

My heart yearns for what it doesn’t know it seeks,  Day In and out it feels like I be missing something but I’ve got no idea what,  Am I happy? Am I sad?  Do people love me? Most importantly......do I love myself? Where exactly have I gone wrong? Is there something I’m missing? These questions plagues daily,  Who can I tell that wouldn’t judge me, Who can I trust with these information No one but myself. Built up a mechanism that in my mind prevents me from getting hurt,  Looking strong to the world but deep down I’m gasping for air. Self worth is to be learnt before anything else.

Unspoken words-2 I begin hating myself for a decision  drowning and sinking deep I’m at the verge of being lost lost for good? that I don’t know It has become a daily routine  the self loathe the anger the invading thoughts  being as destructive as ever Tempted each time to take the life then I remember I ain’t the giver of life and I tell myself my maker wouldn’t be so pleased Everyday has become a struggle  but I believe we go scale through, The anthem ringing everyday  “WE MOVE, GOD NO GO SHAME US “

I be losing it so bad it has become a daily routine  When this phase will pass I’m yearning to know How it’ll pass I’m willing to find out  What it takes I’m willing to know I’ve not drowned in a long time  Seems why I forgot the feel  Saying to search the ends of the earth would be near impossible  Tend to make little shit matter and kill myself with the thought of it Taking a chill pill would be nice but I’ve forgotten what that feels like or even how to Trying these days to find sanity in the WORD but for a moment and then it’s gone because my soul has got a mind of its own I continue where I left off It’s like all these consuming thoughts have become my shadow  Hiding from it is close to impossible  Tears have become a daily companion then when that’s done I try to hide it with a    smile so fake I try to tell myself it’s real I use my own hand and mind to destroy things so good and then begin the loathe...